Just some ramblings!

I haven't been in the studio much lately. There are a number of details to follow up on with the Reflections On A Pond exhibition and opening weekend coming up in about six weeks give or take a few days. I want this to be a very successful weekend and am committed to that. Working for Kevin Macpherson gives me a wonderful opportunity to view some incredible art. It also makes me wonder just what the heck I think I'm doing!? It can and has made me wonder if I have the right stuff for this journey. You think your job has competition, join us in the art world!! And then finally I ask--One usually doubts oneself every once in a while, right? And then the inevitable...maybe I should rethink this and put the brushes down.

I had the opportunity today to take another look at the book, "Reflections On A Pond-A Visual Journal". In this book is an interview with Kevin Macpherson, along with his journal entries when he was painting the series. I picked up the book after reviewing some pictures of an exhibition at a museum where we are considering exhibiting the series. The art was incredible and the artist were so talented! Not to mention the old master's work there! I then ended up looking at some of the other masters works and well, quickly began having doubts!

So, as I said, I reached for the book and began reading. Kevin's words are so inspiring and his spirit in helping every artist is ever so present. And although I really am still wondering why I'm doing this, I know deep down it isn't a "why", but more of "I must". It's a part of me--actually it is ME-- and the reason I'm in this doubting mood is because I haven't been in my studio or outside painting plein air in far too long. My soul is telling me it is time to get there. My consious self is suffering and the inner self is calling out wanting to express itself. The self doubt is the dark side fueled by fear and indecision, doubts and emptiness. Yes, the emptyness I always feel when the brush hasn't been in my hand in what to others doesn't seem like a long time but to me feels like a lifetime. It is not feeling the paint on my hands or experiencing the zone of creativity when my Guiding Spirits and Muses gather and speak to me.

Change, the heart of Reflections On A Pond project for Kevin Macpherson, is the only constant in this world. And just as the Earth is changing it's axis to melt the winter frost and cold from our hemisphere, change will allow me to journey back to my world of art. For all this shall pass, just as the past has passed and the present is here and now. And the future holds many more paintings and I look forward to the call of the my Muses. Change....it's inevitable. Thank the Universe for that.